Sunday, March 14, 2010

Things that make you say...hmm

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these people?

Why don't they just put pictures of criminals on postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?

Why is it that when a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment? When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.

Can you cry under water?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How can you save money for a Rainy Day, when it seems to rain all the time?

If the Police arrest a Mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

What hair color do they put on the driver licenses of bald men?

When bulls disagree, do they ever tell each other, “That’s a bunch of ‘human shit’”?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?

How come there are no "B" batteries?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2 ?

If "Operators are standing by," shouldn't they get a different job where the company has chairs?

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 400 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you that a wall has wet paint, you will have to touch it to be sure?

Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

Why is someone that invests your money called a BROKER?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why do you have to stop or shut down Windows by going to the START button?

Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?

Why do we never see newspaper headlines that read "PSYCHIC WINS LOTTERY?"

Why is it that when your plane arrives at the airport, it is the stewardess that's been with you on the flight that welcomes you to your destination? Why doesn't someone from your destination come onto the plane to welcome you instead?

Why are there flotation devices under airplane seats instead of parachutes?

If 7-11s are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

If knees were backward, what would chairs look like?

Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers?

Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?

Can fat people really go skinny-dipping?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

Why you need a driver’s license to buy liquor, when you can’t drink and drive?

In Arkansas, if you divorce your wife, is she still your cousin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn the radio down?

Why do bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks?

If Fed-Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed-UP?

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Isn't Disneyland a people-trap operated by a mouse?

The lights went out, but where to?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why are they called apartments, when they are all stuck together?

Why are they called buildings when they are already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?

Why do scientists call it "research" when looking for something new?

Why call it "take" a dump, when you leave something behind?

If a train station is where a train stops, and a bus station is where a bus stops, what is a workstation?

Employment applications always ask who should we notifiy in case of an emergency. Wouldn’t a good response be to write . . . A Good Doctor!

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead?"

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

If you jog backward, will you gain weight?

Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

If Dad is Pop, how's come Mom isn't Mop?

Did you ever wonder why you’re reading this?

Please PASS THIS ON to all your friends...


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